The Diary
by HellonHeels44
Summary: Sharon reads part of her journal to Andrea one evening. Its suuuuper fluffy. Sorry.


_"The first time I laid eyes on her I knew I would fall,"_ Sharon read quietly to Andrea as she rested her head on the younger blonde woman's stomach. Her voice shook nervously. She couldn't believe she was reading her journal out loud to Andrea; she'd never shared thoughts this private with anyone. Still, she wanted to. She felt the need to share the story with Andrea, to make her feel as loved as she could.

Andrea ran her hands through Sharon's hair as she listened intently, encouraging her girlfriend to continue. Sharon adjusted the leather bound book in her hands and nestled further under the blanket wrapped around her slight frame.

_"I feel myself falling deep into an abyss every time she looks at me; every time she turns away I can only imagine her arms wrapped around me, her legs tangled in mine in a mess of passion and sweat and exhaustion. I have needed her from the moment she stepped foot in my life."_

Sharon looked up at Andrea, unsure of whether she should continue or if she was being silly by sharing her feelings about the first time she saw Andrea. Andrea ran a single finger down the length of her arm, sending chills up her spine. "Please keep reading," Andrea groaned desperately. Sharon contemplated her for a moment and nodded gently, turning back to the page.

_"Just the sight of her blonde hair, her blue eyes… it drives me mad and I love it. Those who can say love is rational, responsible… they have never truly loved. Andrea makes me lose all my sense. I see her and she is all I can focus on, all I can think of, all I can feel. I miss her when she isn't there and I crave her touch when she is. I think of her as soon as I wake up and before I fall asleep and even then, I dream of her. There hasn't been a moment that has passed since I first saw her that wasn't haunted by her presence, her scent. I close my eyes and she is there. I catch a whiff of her parfum in the stairwell at work and I lose myself. I see her name on a case and I cannot help but smile. She never leaves my head, even when I try to force her out."_

Sharon sat the book down on her stomach and sighed quietly, pinching the space between her eyes. She was officially embarrassed that she'd decided to read her thoughts to Andrea but she knew there was no turning back now. Andrea had been so sweet to read Sharon her poetry a few nights before, she'd wanted to return the gesture by sharing her own emotions with her girlfriend. Now she just felt silly and inept and wanted to stop.

Andrea glanced down at her and brought her hand to the older woman's shoulder, massaging it gently. For all of Sharon's loveliness, Andrea had noticed that sharing her emotions never had been a strong point for her. She thought back to two nights ago when she sat, shaking and nervous, near the fireplace in her bedroom. Sharon had outright begged her to read her poetry aloud. Andrea had found out some time ago that if Sharon Raydor was desperate enough to beg you had better give her what she wants. Andrea ran her hand down the length of Sharon's arm and traced 'I love you' on her bicep with her fingertip. She wasn't sure there was anything she could say to reassure Sharon and pull her out of the insecurity she'd obviously just dived head first in to.

Finally, Sharon spoke in pathetic tones. "I'm sorry I'm boring you Andy," she half apologized, half pouted as she nuzzled her nose in to Andrea's stomach, causing goose bumps to rise all over the blonde's unclothed frame.

"Sharon Raydor, you are never boring. Especially not when you're sharing your feelings with me." Andrea countered seriously, pulling Sharon up so she could wrap her arms around her. She wanted Sharon to be comfortable sharing every part of herself with her, from the mundane to the creative to the pissed off to the pathetic. She wanted it all.

"I've never had anyone say such lovely things about me. I've never felt so … needed before." She whispered in her ear, following with a trail of kisses down Sharon's neck.

Sharon began to sigh but it quickly turned in to a moan as Andrea's lips trailed across her skin, teasing her. She flipped through the pages of the journal, settling on a dog-eared section halfway through the leather bound book. Sharon brought the book closer to her face so she could decipher how own messy scrawl.

"_I never thought last night would happen and now I can't believe it has. I'm exhausted, but happier than I have ever been. I thought I knew joy… when I got my job, when I married Jackson, when I had my children. I didn't know joy in its purest form until last night, in Andrea's arms. We laughed as much as we made love. Her skin… God. Every inch of that woman is perfect and delightful. I wanted to run my hands over her body endlessly. My arms feel empty tonight without her in them-she is something I will crave now, forever. She was soft and gentle and powerful all at once. The way she kissed, the way she moaned… I was afraid I was never going to come back from the place she sent me. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to be outside of her."_

Andrea silently wiped the tears from her cheeks as she waited for Sharon to continue. Sharon reached one hand up and buried it in Andrea's hair, balancing the journal on her lover's stomach before she continued to read.

"_Perhaps the most torturous part of it all was her lips-the way they parted and moved as she came closer to the edge, the shape they made as she said my name breathlessly. I wanted to kiss them raw and then go back and kiss them some more. And then as I lay there and listened to her heart race after collapsing between her thighs… I've never been so at home and so swept away all at once. She is dangerous. She is intoxicating. She is all I can think about. I know that I cannot tell her yet, but I love her. I'm going to love her forever."_

Sharon's last words were barely audible as she finished reading the second passage and closed the book against Andrea's stomach. Andrea wrapped her arms around the older woman and pulled her closer to her mouth, kissing her hard and wild as the tears continued to stream down her face. Sharon happily obliged her fitful kisses, feeling like there'd already been too many words between them.

Finally, Andrea reached over the side of the bed and turned the lights out, her hands quickly finding Sharon's waist again in the darkness. "I'm going to love you forever, too," she muttered as she flipped Sharon over and settled on top of her, ready to show her how much she meant it.


End file.
